What do you do when you feel like your spiritual growth is put on pause, and you’re sliding back into old habits? Life gets crazy. Stressed. We get sick. The holidays. Hormones. Training at work.

I feel like I’m going backwards with personal growth. But life is never just smooth sailing. There’s always something that comes up or is a constant stressor.

My comfortable groove at work was disrupted this past month by a requested department and role change. Previously, I was able to listen to podcasts, audiobooks, and music throughout the day as I desired. Feeding my soul, being inspired, and entertained. Now I can’t because the nature of the new role is needing to interact with people more and doing a variety of support tasks. Plus the required training. I love my new job, but it’s been crazy!

I’ve felt a shift in my outlook. The more negative side is coming out as my internal dialogue is going south. I’m grumpy and surly again at home.

This is the moment in time where I realized I have to pause and reevaluate myself. Adjust my mindset and lifestyle. I’m at a desk more, so I’m not getting the movement I was before each day. I’m considering how I can fit exercise at home into my schedule again. But I’m recovering from a sickness that’s left me with sore chest muscles from coughing and I don’t want to injure myself by jumping into working out too soon, too much. All the things!

Cleaning up my eating habits- AGAIN. Time management. Sleep. It all tends to fall by the wayside when I’m stressed and feel like everything is coming at me all at once. Like I’m in the game my kids play on my phone, riding a motorbike with obstacles I have to go around, jump over, or blast apart with my special powers. I’m just hanging on for dear life!

I don’t have it figured out yet. I don’t know if I ever will. Life is a process. It seems once I’ve gotten one thing down pat, something else is thrown in and I have to adjust. I think that’s also called being an adult. Mom. Wife.

But I do know I have to once again realign my thoughts and actions to God’s guidelines (like kindness and self-control). That’s an ever present process. It’s debatable if I even come close. Regardless, I’m pausing, smelling the roses-…wait, it’s winter…. I’m smelling the coffee in my travel mug and chocolate in my desk at work. Looking around more, instead of at my feet or straight ahead where I need to go, like a woman on a mission. I’m listening to stuff on the commute to and from work and telling myself it’s okay if it’s just those times. Most people don’t get to listen to things all day anyway. Hugging my kids and husband more. Admiring the ice on my van from the storm yesterday, thankful that we have a 4wd pickup I can drive instead when the weather turns bad.